Friday, 31 May 2013

To Marry Or Not To Marry (part 1)

So everyone is asking toe question; when are you getting married? It's always the same question all the time! Can't they just ask if I have been promoted at work or if my salary has been increased? I wonder what the fuss is about!

Rewind many years ago. 

Just a young girl living my life and  having so much fun with my carefree attitude and the my tomboyish ways. Deep down I was a girl but I loved my ways. Lived like everyone one else and but just didn't find the right guy that cut it for me.

Every time we go for weddings, mum prays that I get married one day too and my reply usually is; and what makes you think I am going to get married? Always said I wasn't cut out for weddings and it's not everyone that will be getting married - I just might be one of them. It was one area I always shy away from. When I had my younger half sibling getting married in 2003, everyone asked the same question about getting married and as usual, my response was the same. Even got to a point, to get people off my back, I tell them I swing the other way and with this, I got people off my back.

When the last of my friends got married in 2006, mum started putting more pressure on me but I got off again......and this time, it was all about my new qualification.....I was more ambitious than anything else. Then, all my friends started asking questions, I started inviting my other married friends to any party or events I was invited to, I had myself doing things to keep me really busy. I tried at all cost not to fall for the so called London boys but there are somethings that can't be avoided. A lot of water passed under the bridge and most of the time, I was lucky to be able to see what was coming.

Fast forward a couple of years to 2008.........I met a man during one of my courses, just liked the fact that he was all quiet and not like the other black guys on the same course. Played my normal self......with my regular one nation jeans that I so love...thanks to Gap, my t-shirt and my boyish looking boots......... Little did I know he (Knight, coined name for him) was admiring me as well. Found out few days down the line he's a Nigerian like me and even Yoruba, making it more interesting.  Couple of years down the line, we took the relationship to another level after much avoidance (had no choice but to admit that we were both drawn to each other). 

Suddenly, Knight started behaving funny and I just counted him as one of the London Nigerian guys who are just after one thing, lost cause............after much talking and cajoling from him, we got together again but before we could say Amen! I found out by chance that he had gone to have a ceremony with another lady (I wasn't snooping but came across evidence) when he was busy calling me from out there (naija) and telling me how much he misses me.......talk about double life! I immediately made my thoughts known as I left his place even trying to remain as calm as I want to be......I believed I was unbreakable but that really got to me, really did. And at the point, I made up me mind, no more relationships! they (yes, men) are all full of it.....  

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