After the episode with Knight, I made up my mind to just live for me. Men are too much hassle.....
I went on with life, met new people, tried a few dates here and there but I always had my guards up. Never let them down, I became a skeptic bitch but I loved it. Even rolling with one who was saying to me how he was going to divorce is wife and all..... Went to naija on holiday and all I just keep hearing is the "when are we meeting the man or when are you getting married?" song. I got tired and even had to lie to a few people I was swinging the other way.
I had conversations with friends and they were all convinced that I was not the marrying type. Because I put up a bold and happy face all the time. Even mum got to the point she wasn't asking me questions directly anymore and no one in my house dared ask me about any man or even getting married. I was happy, I had a job, could fly whenever I wanted, I was free and with no baggage and I was loving it.
Suddenly, on my holidays after reading from Knight with no meaningful explanation to our conversation on phone and via email we decided to see once more when we get back to base. For me, I had nothing to lose and it was just going to be another day or night of fun as I knew where he stood. We hooked up immediately he arrived as I had been back before him and we both agreed we missed each other but at the back of my mind, my skepticism was there still on guard. We hooked up again a day later and I just told myself to avoid dwelling on our moments together. My focus was back to work and being me.
Come valentine, I had a call from Knight asking me what I would be doing later on in the day, I was just plain and truthful; swimming I said. I assumed he was going to ask me to come over to his but I was going to thread carefully. This is someone that makes my heart skips a beat anytime I see him and I wasn't ready to fall in love and see me fall deep; I'd rather walk in love ...lol! Saying his reaction after my response was a shock would be an understatement; he actually sent me an email and a long one for that matter, very out of character for him.
I didn't see the email until later in the day towards the end of play. The whole scenario just started becoming clearer. He actually wanted more from the relationship and I didn't realise. He had left the other lady before I saw the pictures at his (and he left her because he realised his heart wasn't with her but me). I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming or concocting this in my mind. IT WAS REAL! I read the email. I being me and wanting to form hard woman responded and said everything I had felt like saying for a long time and concluded that I'd see him later.
His response was don't bother as he wasn't in the mood and I wouldn't open the door for me even if I choose to be stubborn and decides to come over. I had to respect myself after reading the email as I already knew he'd say that when I said I'd be there. It's his ways.
After two full weeks of playing and deliberating on the situation in my mind, I concluded that I had to act fast and see him by all means as I didn't want it to be me pushing the man away. I had wanted him from our first meeting and he has asked himself, I better make a move now before it's too late. I got in touch and told him that I was coming and I will sit outside the door till he opens up (joke). That Friday, I didn't go back home until another 3 days even with my period choosing that Friday to come visit. The feeling of being around the one I have always loved was enough for me and the same was for him. We wend out together, cleaned and cleared up and did a lot of talking and my stance was he had to tell the other lady it was officially over before I can be fully committed.
Life was sweet!
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